Well, the guest ideas are motoring along nicely now. I think the next target has to be to get to number 20. So please keep sending them in. Even if you've already had one go up, I'm not fussy, I'll post you again.
This one is a joint effort from Beeker and Jason. And it's a good idea which as someone who has no scientific knowledge whatsoever, you kinda assume has to be possible. Anyway, over to them:
Hannukah, so my Jewish friends tell me, is a celebration that lasts 8 days, and has something to do with lighting candles on each of those days. So on day one, you light two candles. Day two, you light three, and so on.
I'm sure there's more to it than that (certainly hope so cos it sounds pretty boring otherwise), but I think there's a stoner festival that should be set up that runs concurrently where this principle is used for joints.
Possibly a "Joints for Jews" festival?
So you smoke two joints on day one, three on day two, and so on until you smoke nine on the last day. They obviously need to be quote strong to make it worthwhile and funny. And munchies will obviously need to be more traditionally based Jewish food.
Why is this a good idea?
a. It gives stoners a sense of focus and a goal that they otherwise wouldn't have
b. It might make religion/Judaism seem a bit more fun and worthwhile
c. You get to smoke lots of drugs
Feasibility Rating: 4
A tasty morsel of some animal or other, yesterday
I love St. John. For those that don't know, it's a restaurant in London that specialises in 'nose to tail dining'. Any part of the animal is good to eat according to the philosophy behind it, and on various occassions there I've enjoyed bone marrow, brains, trotters and so on. (You can read a good quick little review of it here)
Still with me?
OK. And it's one of the best restaurants in the world, placing No.10 last year. But unlike many of the world's best restaurants, it doesn't do a tasting menu. Tasting menus tend to be the best opportunity for chefs to display the full range of their talents, and for diners to experience any number of signature dishes.
Which is why I thought it might be a good idea for St. John to do one, but with a slight twist. The tasting menu could be a literal interpretation of 'nose-to-tail' dining, by taking one animal and across a range of 10-12 courses, use as much of the animal as possible. Starting with the nose/head, and working the way through to the tail. Not sure what that means for dessert, but I'm sure they'd figure something out.
Feasibility Rating: 7
I have lots of petty prejudices about the kinds of people who like certain cultural things. And I speak dismissively about them in broad generalisations. I know it's wrong, but there you go. And this idea is all about me trying to prove that my negativity and cycnicism and hatred of people that like stuff I don't, has some kind of scientific truth to it. So bear with me in this petty exercise.
The band who for me represent predictability and banality above all others is Coldplay. They are the leaders of a group of people that includes the likes of Snow Patrol, David Gray and Dido. And my suspicion is that sales of Coldplay CDs are highest in areas which are cultural backwaters - Grimsby, Skegness and Clapham for example.
So I would like to see a "culturally heat-sensitive" map of the UK which shows where Coldplay sales are at their highest per capita. This can then be mapped against a range of measures to evaluate the cultural back-waterness of those places - number of cinemas, theatres, bookstores etc, sales of music, books, DVDs etc (regardless of who by, just overall sales), and so on.
(I know this is very snobbish and negative. And I apologise. But I should stress, I really only want to do this to prove my theory that Clapham is the blandest place in Britain. That's all.)
Feasibility Rating: 8
Drum roll, fanfare, party poppers, people jumping out of cakes, cartwheeling elephants, yes, it's Guest Idea No. 10. And it's from Camiel.
Now, this is a smart idea. I do worry about it though because the last time a serious idea went up on here related to money, I got a panning for it.
Unlike mine though, this one is really good. And not as boring as tax sabbaticals.
Anyway, over to Camiel:
"Just when you thought everything had already been 2.0'ized: Savings Accounts 2.0 Banks want us to save money so that they can invest it at higher returns than the pitiful 3% they pay us for it. Kind of difficult to sell. People don't get turned on by products that offer gratification with a twenty-year delay. On the other hand, they do buy into lotteries which promise them the means for boats, exotic holidays and other luxuries, while they know the chance of winning is highly improbable. A savings account could give us a realistic update on how far we've progressed in achieving those monetary fantasies. By allowing us to tag our deposits. An example: You already indicated to your Internet account that you are saving for: - your daughter to go to college, 24000 pounds, needed in 15 years. - a pair of George III beechwood chairs: 4000 pounds, preferred within ten years. - a pair of handmade shoes by John Lobb; 1800 pounds, preferred in two years. Let's say you're placing 3000 pounds on your savings account. You tag 2100 pounds 'college fund' and a bar next to your smiling daughter's photo jumps to 9%. 500 is tagged 'chairs' and completes 12,5% and 400 pounds gives you 22% 'shoes'. Your savings have become more tangible. Naturally, banks offer higher interest rates on savings that aren't touched for a longer period of time. So deposits tagged 'college fund' will be sent to an (sub)account that gives the best rate over a 15-year period, while the 'shoes' savings yield the lowest rate. If you like, you could choose to invest your 'chairs' savings in a mutual fund at variable rates of return. The account is also equipped with software that calculates and advises the ideal distribution of your 3000 pounds between tags, so that all bars hit 100% within the desired amount of time." Feasibility rating: 7
OK, so there's a bit of a trend starting where I suggest making some kind of coffee table book on the basis that there are so many of these things, particularly round Christmas time, that there must be a big market for them.
Maybe not this one. But anyway..
So the thought is to produce a photographic book which captures that odd phenomenon of discarded items in supermarkets. In fact, it's more than a photo book, it's also a study into what motivated people to leave certain items where they did.
Take this shelf in the local supermarket for example:
Now there are better examples than this, but this is the photo I've got. But even here there's some interesting things going on. So there's a punnet of strawberries, some kind of sweetcorn salad, and cheese triangles that have all been discarded in the health drink section of the store. Which I think is an interesting thing to consider in terms of what was the decision-making process behind that. But there will be better ones - what gets dumped when beer gets put in the trolley? Is it always unhealthy things, or does fruit and veg make way for it? Why do you sometimes get individual bananas left in amongst the baked beans?
And so on. And on.
Actually, not sure how interesting this would be now I've written it down. But it's done now so I won't delete it. And I do recommend everyone keeping an eye out on discarded items next time they're shopping. Because in a nerdy way, I think it's interesting.
Perhaps it could become some kind of blog rather than a book.
No, it's still not that good.
Oh well.
Feasibility Rating: 2
Continuing the arse theme...
Apologies to anyone who reads this blog who has nothing to do with marketing or advertising because this is a bit of an in-joke. It will be a one-off, I promise.
So in marketing and advertising, particularly the bit I work in, you get a lot of this:
And this:
All of which is clearly nonsense. And dull.
Which is why I think branding and marketing could do with a fresh approach. Such as the Brand Bottom:
So you have the brand foundations - the tangible elements that go in to what makes up your brand. The bits in the middle falling out from the brand foundations, are the brand essences. All of which leads to producing the brand nugget - the core part of what your brand stands for. Think of the brand nugget as a more palatable form of Saatchi's OneWordEquity (which is, as any fule can see, three words long).
Feasibility Rating: 3
(I think what follows might represent a new low for this blog. And that's saying something.)
I've been lucky enough in my life to eat at a lot of nice restaurants. And it was after a visit to The Fat Duck the other week that I got to wondering about whether there is a noticeable difference with what comes out, ahem, the other end, after eating such extravagant, gourmet food compared to your everyday meals. (I wondered about this too late after the meal for me to divulge any personal information by the way.)
Now, we know from things like this that you can get beautiful photographic coffee table books of detritus. Which made me wonder whether you could produce a coffee-table book which lovingly photographed the remnants of meals eaten at restaurants with 3 Michelin stars to see what was produced. All from the same person obviously to ensure bowel consistency. All restaurants would be graded on the new system which would rival, and obviously ultimately replace, the existing Michelin system.
The book could also contain such engaging elements as 'Before and after' shots, a 'Spot the difference' section where a McDonalds meal went head to head with Gordon Ramsay, and recipes for all meals next to the lovingly shot, er, you know, thing.
Feasibility Rating: 7
Feasibility Rating: 10
OK. Ninth guest idea here. Which is obviously hugely exciting. I feel like we're reaching a pinnacle, crossing a threshold, all that kind of stuff. This one's a great idea which could actually make people money. So, yet again, quite unlike most of the ideas on this site. It's courtesy of Stuart Smith from W+K who found his inspiration whilst mopping up a Chicken balti with some naan bread. Over to Stu: "Lots of restaurants are quite empty most of the time. Particularly in an area where there's lots of them; like Brick Lane or Chinatown for example. Thing is, you tend to walk along, and see lots that are empty then one that has loads of people in. It's like there's a pack mentality to it. So if you could offer the first table of people to eat at your place their entire meal for half price, that would be a good thing. And would encourage a steady flow of business for the rest of the night. We went into a curry house on Brick Lane the other night and about ten minutes afterwards, more and more groups joined us. Or you could even employ people to do it. Theres that thing, particularly for some reason with Chinese food, that if you see lots of Chinese people eating in a restaurant you kind of go, "Oh, that must be a good one cos it’s the one that all the Chinese people eat at." So those restaurants that are quieter could employ people of the same ethnicity to be the first in and harness the pack mentality." Feasibility Rating: 8
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