This is about three ideas in one I think.
Here in the UK, students for generations have been able to avoid reading long books which looked too difficult, by buying copies of the York Notes and cramming those. They simplified the novels, picked out the important themes and quotes, and packaged it all up for you in a way that marking examiners would like. And even better, they were considered legitimate things to consult (always caveated by your teacher saying, "But they don't replace what you can get from reading the actual book." Which, at least in the case of a dull tome such as Middlemarch, is clearly not true).
Now I've no idea what York Notes are up to these days, but given the tendency from a lot of bloggers and blogs to 'academise' or intellectualise what they're saying, there is a clear role for York Notes to help out. Many blogs, particularly but not exclusively those related to marketing and brands, tend to follow a formula of using 40 words when one would do. Why talk about what people like when you can do so referencing ancient philosophers and Freud? After all, people are going to be reading you so you'd better look intelligent.
York Notes could provide a service which untangles the academic tendencies of some blogs and posts the plain English versions. For persistent offenders, they could compile a guide to how to navigate the bloggers' thinking - a kind of York Notes guide online to that site. Or for one off examples, they could post their understanding of what the blogger means as each post is put up on the site, signing in as York Notes.
The other York notes related idea is purely pun-based. Peter York is one of the greatest people to ever walk the earth, and an amazing read. He should release his own York notes on, well, anything he wants.
Feasibility Rating: 4
Mormons, yesterday. Looking at this it's amazing that any of them even have one wife.
One of the best pieces of re-branding that has ever been done was when the Religious Right in the States stopped talking about being anti-abortion, and started talking about being 'pro-life'. This immediately re-framed the debate. (Didn't stop them being weird and wrong, but that's another issue.)
Now, the Mormons have a bit of a problem amongst right-minded people largely because of their ongoing practise of polygamy. So they could probably do with a similar look at how they can re-brand it. My first thought is to stop calling it 'polygamy' and start talking about themselves as being 'Pro-Wife'. Or indeed, 'pro-wives'. I think this could be the first stage in a longer attempt to reclaim marriage and its virtues and benefits from the Christians. I mean if the Christians are really pro-marriage, and how it can be the bed-rock of society, why do the men limit themselves to just one wife?
Feasibility Rating: 4
Penguin books has had a well-established and celebrated design ethos since its inception in 1935. From the early editions designed by Edward Young, with their horizontal band and genre by colour approach, through to the Germano Facetti period and beyond, Penguin has created iconic covers for a huge range of books.
Now, it's not that modern book cover design is bad. But there's something about the original simple Young designed Penguins that just looks better on your bookshelf than your fancy-pants Chip Kidd titles. (Not that there's anything wrong with Chipp Kidd. Far from it. The man is a genius.) Which is why there should be a service which can 'penguinise' the books that you have on your shelves at home. So you can supply information such as the the title and author, genre, and the book dimensions, and you are either sent, or can print out a fresh classic penguin book cover design that you can attach yourself. You would also be able to choose which of the playful Penguin logos you want to go on the front, and indeed there could even be a range of classic black and white photos or illustrations to accompany it.
Feasibility Rating: 9 (Unless of course there are legal and copyright issues in which case, oh I don't know, it will probably be, let's say, a 6)
OK, guest idea No. 7 time. And this one comes from Ciaran Rogers in the States (New York I believe). A good practical way of helping out millions of people. So quite unlike an al-qaeda blog then.
Anyway, over to Ciaran:
"I had an idea this morning, though I would be surprised if no one has acted on it. I cut my thumb sitting at my desk, and had to apply a band-aid. This band-aid has left me with no traction whatsoever, and it’s been a struggle all day long thumbing through papers etc. Why take the special finger band aids (which I believe are made already), and create textures either on the finger print area or the whole band aid itself? It would be a cool looking design edition and with obvious functional benefits.
By textures I mean raised ridges on the outside of the band aid that would aid in one’s ability to grip. Instead of the ridged pattern in the picture (these things are called finger pads or finger cots), I was thinking that the band aids could be patterned in all different ways."
Cheers for that Ciaran. Keep them coming.
Feasibility Rating: 8
Bin Laden announcing the launch of the new Al-Qaeda blog, yesterday
Al-Qaeda has, for all its faults, an exceptionally effective communications strategy. They produce engaging content, all of which is clear, to the point, and very motivating. They produce 2-3 high impact films a year which garner immediate and widespread coverage. They produce content that lives on beyond its time online and is passed through communities. They have devolved power and creation of some of this content to 'brand supporters' - their own unique version of user-generated content. And they stay true to who they are. You know an Al-Qaeda film when you see one.
And yet despite being at the forefront of the new world of communication, as far as I can tell they haven't adopted blogging as a potentially useful communications device. This is odd because they have quite a big PR job to do still.
A lot of modern corporations use blogs as a way of showing the world their 'human' side. The people and activities that go on in the background. Al-Qaeda should set up their own blog to share with the world what they get up to behind all that posturing and fighting: the work parties, the emergence of new ideas and have them debated in the open, regular George Bush joke pieces, how they decorate their caves to make them more workable in, and so on.
This way they might be able to reach even more people, and pitch themselves as the more approachable of the two fundamentalists trying to dominate the world-stage.
Feasibility rating: 6
Pope Gregory XIII - the guy who had our calendar named after himself.
It can't have escaped many peoples' notice that the seasons are changing thanks to global warming. And, at least here in the UK, with leaves still on trees and the sun shining, it seems odd that Christmas is only about a month away.
This is thanks to us continuing to use the Gregorian calendar which was introduced in 1582. Now, the calendar has done us well, and is all scientific and that kind of stuff, but it is also almost 500 years old and things change.
Which is why next year, on October 28th when the clocks are due to go back 1 hour, they should instead go back one month. This one adjustment should be good enough for a couple more hundred years and will ensure that our seasons reflect our expectations and perceptions of what they should be. Christmas will remain on 25th December, although by the old calendar it will be Jan 25th when it is more likely to be colder and more "Christmas-ey".
Feasibility Rating: 6
Mother "Tits Out" Theresa, yesterday
Nobody said that combatting fundamentalist Muslim terrorism would be easy. And desperate times call for desperate measures. Which is why the Church of England, in fact Christian churches the world over, Protestant and Catholic alike, need to try to win the war of minds and hearts of the young men being groomed for terrorism.
And what better way to do this than through naked flesh? We know that even the most fundamentalist Muslim wannabe-martyr is motivated by the promise of 43 virgins in heaven. Which on some level means that they think the same kind of dirty thoughts, and are as led by 'Little Allah', as men the world over are. A simple way therefore to try and make them realise what they're missing out on is for the Church of England to employ a team of strippers - lets call them a cabaret of angels - to run into fundamentalist mosques at prayer time, and strip naked.
This would hopefully have the effect of
a. putting them off the fundamentalist teachings they're listening to
b. showing them the heavenly Christian delights that await them on earth if only they concentrated more on this life than the next one.
Feasibility Rating: 4
OK, we're up to Guest Idea No.6 already. And I think there might even be enough of a backlog to get to 10.
But obviously, it would be much better if this site just became other peoples' ideas, because as this one shows, irritatingly yet again, other people have better ideas. So please keep on emailing them in.
This one's from Jared. But staggeringly has nothing to do with meat. Over to Jared.
"It'd be pretty easy to bribe a phone company to get your brand name into predictive text. But companies could take it further - like with Google AdWords, they should pay to get their brand name made into one of the first options that comes up. Why, for example, does tapping in 'ebay' get me 'daby'? Or 'google' get me 'gongle'? The last proper word suggested when you tap in g-o-o-g-l-e is 'honest' (after g-o-o), so 'google doesn't even have any competition. And don't tell me that 'Tesco' couldn't afford to buy priority placement over 'verbose'. Motorola, my actual make of phone, doesn't even appear... which seems a bit of an oversight." Feasibility Rating: 8
Nerds, saddos, losers, marketing twats and media goons hanging out virtually, yesterday
Second Life has had a lot of press around it recently. And people who work in media and marketing have become very excited about it. Personally, I think this, this, this, and this, are all good examples of how the internet is going to end up eating itself.
Tapping into this, I wonder whether there is an opportunity for a game/reality to exist within Second Life, called Third Life. This would enable players to play a game within the game and experience an even more heightened version of reality/fantasy than they currently are. And this may be particularly welcomed by 'residents' now that Second Life has been co-opted by brands and media outlets, as it could allow them to experience a truly alternate reality.
Feasibility Rating: 4
The President of Nigeria launching their latest sausage on the world, yesterday
I ate at a Sausage and Mash cafe last night with a friend. On the specials board there was a Nigerian sausage on offer. Ever the inquisitive type, my friend got one to see what it was like. The waitress told us that it was a mixture of pork, pepper and spices.
Now, I don't know much about Nigeria, but I have no idea why those ingredients are uniquely Nigerian. Which made me wonder whether a better Nigerian sausage might be one that plays off what they're more famous for, at least over here - email spam. (If you go here, and scroll down to 2005, you can read about the Ignoble award Nigeria won for its contribution to literature that year.)
So, S+M Cafe people. You should create a Nigerian sausage whose main meat constituent is spam.
Feasibility Rating: 7
Taste Rating: -7
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